Hello, Morons!

Yes, you. I'm talking to you. You don't think you're a moron, do you? When you were in front of me in the grocery store line and waited until all your items were totaled to take out your checkbook, fumble for a pen, ask for the date, write out a check in painstaking longhand, and then carefully record everything in your ledger before taking the receipt from the cashier and putting your checkbook back exactly where it was, oriented the same way, you thought that was all normal and thoughtful and exactly the way the universe should operate.

Of course you did. You're a moron.

Yes, you. I'm talking to you. You get all your information from the Fox network, you think Mexicans are streaming across our borders and taking all our jobs, you just know that those greedy union members in Detroit are to blame for all of the woes of the American auto industry and you completely agree that their wages should be slashed, their benefits should be cut, and they should have to go to the ER when they're sick. Oh, and you have no problem giving all your retirement money to a financial analyst who makes, in a year, as much as five or eight auto workers even though he has lost tens of thousands of dollars of your money, and even though you would have done far better investing your money yourself. In your mattress. You believe those wizards of Wall Street are worth every penny.

Of course you do. You're a moron.